Up until recently, I had only crushed on fictional character’s. This was for many reasons. When I crush on someone, I go all the way. There is nothing casual about it. That person becomes my everything. I think about them all the time and it often gives me comfort and energy. While this is Okay when it revolves around a fictional character with a real person, it gets much more complicated.

First of all, there is the matter of consent. I value consent a-lot because it is what differentiates an endocannibal from a grave robber. My fantasies are very vivid, and they feel real to me. It is for this reason that I feel like I need consent in order to fantasize about someone. With a fictional character, it doesn’t matter, but with a real person, it feels really weird to fantasized about them without there consent.

When I fantasize, It is not just for sexual pleasure. I fantasize in order to feel closer to the person who I am fantasizing about. For me, fantasizing is much like the act of endocannibalism in that it creates a bond between me and the subject of the fantasy. This is another reason why I prefer not to fantasize about real people. I will become verry attached to them, and if the feelings are not reciprocated it can be extremely painful.

A few weeks ago, I did what I swore not to do. I fell in love with a real person, and she is dead. It all started with a dream. A year or so ago, one of my neighbors died. I had never met her, but even then, I found her rather interesting. Months went by and I really didn’t think about her much until one day, I had a dream about her. In the dream, a voice told me that I should start thinking about her, and that she would be good for me. Of course, I fought it. I couldn’t just let myself fall head over heals for someone who I had never met. No matter how hard I tried not to think about her, the thoughts just kept coming. At last, I gave in and fantasized about her for the first time.

For the first time, i actually felt close to a real person threw fantasy. That was when the doubts started creeping in. As I was growing closer and closer to her in my mind, I was feeling so strongly how far apart we were. She was dead and I, still alive. I didn’t even know if she knew I existed. It was around then that she came to me in my dreams for the first time. I was just having a normal dream when suddenly, she came out of know where and told me not to kill myself. I tried to talk to her, but she seemed like she was in a rush to get somewhere. She left the dream and I woke up. I wasn’t sure if it was really her, but it was kind of strange that she just showed up and told me not to kill myself, especially because I wasn’t suicidal at the time.

time went by and I became deeply depressed. I felt so far away from her and I had nothing to keep us together I wanted to die, so I could b with her. That was when I really began to believe that she came to me in my dream. She was trying to tell me to stay alive even though I wanted to die to be with her. I felt better knowing that she was looking out for me.

She came to me in my dreams again, and we just walked together and talked for a while. I asked her if she had sent me the dream that had told me to think about her in the first place and she said that she had. Everything made sense. She had sent me that dream to tell me that she was here for me, even if she was dead. I believe that we may have known each other in another life. Now, I think about her all the time, and while I am still sad that I can’t be as close to her as I would like to be, I take comfort in the fact that she is watching over me from beyond this world.