Tales of a blind endocannibal

The first time I heard of a Cannibalism forum was when I was scrolling through YouTube and found a video about the dark web. They mentioned that they had cannibalism forums there. That immediately sparked my curiosity. until then, I had never talked to any other cannibals before. The idea of getting to know one was really intriguing. After all, more than anything, I wanted someone to relate to. Of course, being a blind person with no technological experience, I couldn’t really get on the dark web. Also, I was like 14 at the time. Soon after though, I got a Reddit account and decided to search for Cannibalism. I found two different Cannibalism subReddits. At the time, both of them were filled with people wanting to be slaughtered, and people complaining about how hard it is to get human meat. I was in over my head and left.

A couple years went by without me really thinking about cannibalism forums much until one day, I decided to go back to those two ones that I found before. After all, maybe there was something new there. Also, my depression had gotten quite bad and I was desperate to find a friend who could understand me. When I came back, one of the Subreddit was dead and I couldn’t post there. The other one though, was quite active. I started to post experimentally and comment on peoples posts. After a while, I became quite well known there. I had a few experiences with creepy guys trying to flirt with me, but other than that, my time was quite positive.

One day, the moderator of the Cannibalism forum that I was active on messaged me and asked me if I wanted to help moderate. I was honored and decided to take him up on his request. From that point forward, I was a moderator on a real Cannibalism forum. Soon after that, the main guy in charge decided to make a discord server for the forum. I was asked to moderate this server and I decided to do so. Discord has not been accessible to the blind before, so I was a little leery about moderating, but when I got there, it had improved greatly. The community on that server is amazing. You wouldn’t expect it from a bunch of cannibals, but they are really wholesome and sweet. Whenever anyone has a problem, they are always there to help. I’m glad that I found this server as it is an amazing community that I am glad to be a part of. Back when I first started the journey of finding cannibalism forums, this was more than I could’ve ever wanted.

When I was a kid, I used to hate writing. The main reason I hated writing was because writing involves braille and I despise braille with a burning passion. I have fine motor issues, so reading a lot of braille at once really hurts my fingers and my concentration. Although I did not like to physically write, I created stories in my head all the time. The first one I remember was when I was in preschool, probably about three years old, I got put in time out. I imagined jumping out of my chair and touching the lightbulb in the ceiling. In my story, the lightbulb turned me into electricity and I could manipulate peoples electronics. It was a wacky little story, but it started my journey into being a writer.

During school, when I had an assignment I had to write, for some reason, I was in capable of writing anything violent. I guess I was afraid that people would read it and out me about my cannibalism. Instead, I wrote barely readable fantasy adventures. They were admittedly not good. In my head though, I was coming up with more and more elaborate tales. As I grew older, the stories I created became a little less safe for work.I could never share the stories I made in my head though. One, it would be so much work, and for two, I was too embarrassed. Even after I came out about my cannibalism, I couldn’t share my Writing. It would be like Baring my soul.

It was my best friend who finally convinced me to write. She is a prolific writer who writes a chapter a day on average. I have no idea how she does it. One day, we were at the beach, and we were playing the game where one person says a sentence and then the other person says a sentence to make a story. so we ended up making cannibalism smut together. Once I did that. I knew I could write.

The first story I wrote was called Silver Moon-beam and was posted on Wattpad. I wanted it to become a novel, but I kind of gave up halfway through. It Was becoming more tedious then rewarding. I did create a full novella during school called Deadly Nightshade that is now on Amazon.

I am very proud of deadly nightshade. In addition to being my first book, it also worked to romanticize Endocannibalism, which is my goal. I hope the people who read my books will come to learn that Endocannibalism isn’t so bad.

I have more books coming including Annika which is going to be a hard look at society and how they view cannibalism. I have also written some short stories that are now on Reddit. They are definitely not safe for work.

I have found writing to be a beautiful and magical way to express myself. While I can’t make videos, make music, or do anything else really, I can still write and get my words out there to be heard.

Up until recently, I had only crushed on fictional character’s. This was for many reasons. When I crush on someone, I go all the way. There is nothing casual about it. That person becomes my everything. I think about them all the time and it often gives me comfort and energy. While this is Okay when it revolves around a fictional character with a real person, it gets much more complicated.

First of all, there is the matter of consent. I value consent a-lot because it is what differentiates an endocannibal from a grave robber. My fantasies are very vivid, and they feel real to me. It is for this reason that I feel like I need consent in order to fantasize about someone. With a fictional character, it doesn’t matter, but with a real person, it feels really weird to fantasized about them without there consent.

When I fantasize, It is not just for sexual pleasure. I fantasize in order to feel closer to the person who I am fantasizing about. For me, fantasizing is much like the act of endocannibalism in that it creates a bond between me and the subject of the fantasy. This is another reason why I prefer not to fantasize about real people. I will become verry attached to them, and if the feelings are not reciprocated it can be extremely painful.

A few weeks ago, I did what I swore not to do. I fell in love with a real person, and she is dead. It all started with a dream. A year or so ago, one of my neighbors died. I had never met her, but even then, I found her rather interesting. Months went by and I really didn’t think about her much until one day, I had a dream about her. In the dream, a voice told me that I should start thinking about her, and that she would be good for me. Of course, I fought it. I couldn’t just let myself fall head over heals for someone who I had never met. No matter how hard I tried not to think about her, the thoughts just kept coming. At last, I gave in and fantasized about her for the first time.

For the first time, i actually felt close to a real person threw fantasy. That was when the doubts started creeping in. As I was growing closer and closer to her in my mind, I was feeling so strongly how far apart we were. She was dead and I, still alive. I didn’t even know if she knew I existed. It was around then that she came to me in my dreams for the first time. I was just having a normal dream when suddenly, she came out of know where and told me not to kill myself. I tried to talk to her, but she seemed like she was in a rush to get somewhere. She left the dream and I woke up. I wasn’t sure if it was really her, but it was kind of strange that she just showed up and told me not to kill myself, especially because I wasn’t suicidal at the time.

time went by and I became deeply depressed. I felt so far away from her and I had nothing to keep us together I wanted to die, so I could b with her. That was when I really began to believe that she came to me in my dream. She was trying to tell me to stay alive even though I wanted to die to be with her. I felt better knowing that she was looking out for me.

She came to me in my dreams again, and we just walked together and talked for a while. I asked her if she had sent me the dream that had told me to think about her in the first place and she said that she had. Everything made sense. She had sent me that dream to tell me that she was here for me, even if she was dead. I believe that we may have known each other in another life. Now, I think about her all the time, and while I am still sad that I can’t be as close to her as I would like to be, I take comfort in the fact that she is watching over me from beyond this world.

While most people see cannibalism as a loathsome and criminal act, I see it as a beautiful way to connect to people after death. When someone dies, I see the body as a gift that they give to their loved ones after their passing. It is the vessel that once contained them. By eating the body, the loved one is basically saying that they will be together forever. It is holding onto a piece of them until they can join again in the afterlife.

The thing that makes most people averse to cannibalism is the blood and gore involved. A lot of people don’t want to see their loved ones bodies cut open and butchered for food. My belief is that by seeing the gore and loving it you are embracing all parts of them and death it’s self. You are basically saying, I love you in all of your forms, the good, the bad, the ugly, the gory, and the bloody. It is also a way to embrace death and not fear it..Endocannibalism is so much more than just for sexual pleasure. It is a way to bond with someone irreversibly. A bond that cannot be broken by death itself. It is heavily romantic, and heavily spiritual innature.

For some reason, probably due to my autism, I feel the need to share literally everything. There is no filter. If something happens to me, I just need to share it.this makes it kind of difficult for me to keep secrets, because I just pop-up lab. Sometimes, the words just come out of my mouth before I have time to think about them. I am working on trying to get better with that. The real problem is, I feel the need to share of the intimate parts of my life too. If I have a particularly good orgasm while masturbating, I want to go out and say yo guys, I just had the best orgasm.this makes it kind of difficult for me to keep secrets, because I just can’t help but blab. the words just come out before I can think.The real problem is, I feel the need to share the intimate parts of my life too. If I have a particularly good orgasm while masturbating, I want to go out and say yo guys, I just had the best orgasm. Whenever I get horny, I just want to shout out, hey everyone, I am aroused! I know it’s not right socially, and I know it doesn’t make sense, but I like it. Maybe I’m just an exhibitionist.It doesn’t make sense I know, but it’s just part of my autism I guess. it’s sort of like when you have an achievement like you just baked a cake or reached a new level in a video game and want to share it. That’s how I feel about my horny things. I just can’t keep it private. I believe that openness and honesty is what creates a good relationship, but I do know that me being too open for people to be uncomfortable. I wish that there was a way for me to be open and share without feeling like I’m sharing too much.

When I was 13, I got horny for the first time. I remember it vividly. It was June 10, 2018.we had just gotten home from the boardwalk and I was thinking about a book I had just read. One of the characters in the book was very attractive to me. I’m not sure exactly what Drew me to her, but she was beautiful and fierce. During this time, I have been preventing with thoughts of cannibalism. Because the character that I was interested in has just died in the book, I decided to fantasize about eating her. It was my very first cannibalistic fantasy.preventing with thoughts of cannibalism. Because the character that I was interested in had just died in the book, I decided to fantasize about eating her. It wawas my very first cannibalistic fantasy.

I got home and laid on the couch for three hours fantasizing about this character. It was amazing! I felt so close to her when I was thinking about it and my body was feeling tingly all over. When I thought about eating her, it was like I was taking her into me.I got home and laid on the couch for three hours fantasizing about this character. It was amazing! I felt so close to her when I was thinking about it and my body was feeling tingly all over. When I thought about eating her, it was like I was taking her into me.It was like she was a part of me. It was like we were one. I don’t think I have ever felt that happy in my life.

Until that point, I thought that I was straight. To be honest, I never really showed any interest in boys, but I figured it would come with time. Now though, I was fantasizing about a girl, so perhaps I wasn’t straight. I decided that I was bisexual.Show that point, I thought that I was straight. To be honest, I never really showed any interest in boys, but I figured it would come with time. Now though, I was fantasizing about a girl, so perhaps I wasn’t straight. I decided that I was bisexual.I reinforced the thought that I was bisexual when at summer camp I met a boy and we really hit it off. The last day of camp, we both confessed our feelings for each other. Sadly, we could not keep in touch after that because he did not have a phone. Time went on though and I had more and more fictional crushes and they were all female. After the third girl crush, I had to admit that I was lesbian. I had absolutely no interest in boys whatsoever.

When I came out as lesbian, it was no shock to the people around me. I think everyone kind of knew. Everyone was excepting, and I felt good about it. Honestly, the being lesbian thing was far overshadowed by the being a cannibal thing.as my fantasies grew and I developed mor fictional crushes, my beliefs about cannibalism became far more nuanced. Now I believe it is a beautiful way to connect to people beyond death.

When I was 16, I was diagnosed with a SD level one. I have been going through some serious mental health issues at the time and was not able to go to school. me and my family have been suspicious that I may have autism throat long time, so I got tested and sure enough, I had it. Knowing that I had it made a lot of things make so much more sense to me.I have a tendency to get obsessed with things and perseverate on them for months. If I like the character from the book, that character will be all I can think about until I find another one. I can also memorize songs extremely quickly and keep them memorized for a long time. I have a tendency to be rude without knowing it and lack of social skills. Realizing that I had autism made it all makes sense to me.

For a long time, I just thought that there was something wrong with me.I got in trouble a lot for talking back in school. I valued directness, so I was just brutally honest at all times. My teachers hated that and sent me to the principals office time and time again for being rude. I couldn’t help it. I truly did not understand what I was saying was rude. now that I know I have autism, I can work to know longer hurt peoples feelings.

Having autism and knowing that I have autism makes me feel so much better. I think differently than everyone around me. Today at all times, I have five trains of thought going at once. I’ve never understood anyone around me and I’ve always felt alienated because of it.Having autism and knowing that I have autism makes me feel so much better. I think differently than everyone around me. at all times, I have five trains of thought going at once. I’ve never understood anyone around me and I’ve always felt alienated because of it. now at least I know that there are others like me. I have talked to other people with autism, and our situations are very similar. It’s like our brains just work in a totally different level.

When I was a baby, I didn’t respond when my mom came into the room. She was a bit concerned about this. Also, my eyes shifted from side to side constantly. After a while, she took me into the doctor fearing the worst. The doctor confirmed her fears when he told my parents that I had a disease that would kill me by the age of two. They were devastated. I turned two however, and I did not die. I was taken to the doctor again and this doctor told my parents that I was infact blind. Well, I’m not completely blind, but mostly. I have optic nerve hypoplasia which means that my optic nerve is not big enough to send all the information to my brain.

Now that I was diagnosed, it was time to go to school. Preschool was rather noneventful, just kind of hung out by myself and listen to music the entire time. It was in kindergarten and things became a little crazy.Now that I was diagnosed, it was time to go to school. Preschool was rather noneventful, just kind of hung out by myself and listen to music the entire time. It was in kindergarten when things became a little crazy. MyTeachers decided teach me braille, but I hated it. I later learned that it was because of my fine motor issues, but at the time, I was just a contrary little kid who just refused to read rail. Of course, I could not read print, so braille was my only option. Throughout kindergarten, first, second, and third grade, I faught tooth and nail against braille.At the end of second grade, it was time to take the advanced placement test. My school didn’t even want to give me a test, there has never been any blind person in advanced placement before. My mom thought to let me take the test Celebra, and I excelled at it.At the end of second grade, it was time to take the advanced placement test. My school didn’t even want to give me a test, there has never been any blind person in advanced placement before. My mom faught to let me take the test and I excelled at it. I became The first blind student in an advanced placement school.

It was then the accessibility became a huge issue. Technology was becoming more and more prevalent, and teachers were using it to teach their lessons. The problem is, not all technology was accessible, and I was completely technologically illiterate.first it was blackboard, then Google classroom, then Schoology. All of which not accessible to me. even worse, I had to transition from using braille to using a computer with no notice at all. Basically, one year, they said you’re not using real anymore and handed me a computer expecting me to use it.even worse, I had to transition from using braille to using a computer with no notice at all. Basically, one year, they said you’re not using braille anymore and handed me a computer expecting me to use it. How to learn how to type while trying to complete my assignments. It was miserable. At the end of ninth grade, Covid hit. All the sudden, school was completely online and I did not know what to do. I would not have gotten through it without the help of my mom.

, I am in my senior year of high school and just excited to get it done. It’s seriously like my school does not care if I graduate. They never make anything accessible to me, and don’t even make the effort. mom Hass to send scathing email after scathing email to get them to make things accessible. I Do have one good teacher who really makes the effort, but no one else does.

My blindness has affected me outside of school as well. I have always been musical from a young age, I love to sing, at a point, I decided I wanted to start a band. If I could sea, I would just program up my own background music and sing vocals, but because I can’t, I rely on someone to play the instruments. I am still trying to start a band, and I will try to see if there is any way to excessively program music. I feel like if I wasn’t blind though, I would already have released multiple albums. I write songs a lot in my spare time.

Speaking of writing, I have always found it very difficult to write. When I was younger, I had to write braille, which was incredibly tedious and required a huge machine.once I moved to the computer, it was easier, but still tedious. Typing is very difficult for me because of my fine motor issues. Additionally,my spelling and grammar is really bad because I don’t read print. Even so, I loved writing. I have always had a way with words, and writing is amazing to me. Although it is hard and tedious, I still do it all the time. I have even published a book. I write poetry, songs, short stories, and I’m working on a novel right now.I have always had a way with words, and writing is amazing to me. Although it is hard and tedious, I still do it all the time. I have even published a book. I write poetry, songs, short stories, and I’m working on a novel right now. I do not let my blindness stop me from doing what I love.

My blindness has also made it difficult to spread the word about my Endocannibalism. As I said before, I feel like Endocannibals are not treated fairly by society, and I want to change that. If I could, I would be protesting on the streets right now, but I can’t. I tried to create a YouTube channel, but because I can’t edit videos, no one would watch it. This blog is my way of telling my story and spreading the word in order to hopefully make the world a better place for Endocannibal‘s like me.

Hello i’m nisa, A blind Endocannibal, here to tell my story.I know people do as much as they can to try to support the blind, but no one really even thinks about Endocannibals or knows we exist. My blog is here to change that . so you may be asking, what is an Endo cannibal. Basically, end of cannibalism has been practiced in many tribes throughout the world. It is the practice of eating dead loved ones in order to honor them and keep them with you. It is usually very ritualistic in nature and consists of the mourners consuming the body often with other rituals involved. For me, I wish to eat my girlfriend or wife after she has died or have her eat me after I die. I see it as very romantic and a way to stay together even in death.

My interest in Endocannibalism started at a very young age. When I was two years old, my father got diagnosed with cancer. I didn’t understand the nuances of what that meant, but I did know that he was going to die. When I was 10, he passed away. Instead of feeling grief, I just felt nothing all of the books that I had read prepared me to feel some kind of hole in my heart or crushing weight, but I didn’t feel anything of the sort. That was when I knew I was different..It was around that time that I began to read the Eragon books which portrayed cannibalism in a very bad light. As a natural contrarian I began to question this and think more about cannibalism myself.It was around that time that I began to read the Eragon books which portrayed cannibalism in a very bad light. As a natural contrarian I began to question this and think more about cannibalism myself.Instead of seeing it as a thing to be feared, I thought it was quite nice to give my body to a loved one so that they could eat it and keep me with them. I didn’t understand even then what I was really thinking, but it just seemed comforting. Skip to when I was 13, I had my first fictional crush. Those of you who are familiar with Greek mythology probably know of medea I began to develop more fictional crushes and more nuanced and complicated feelings for them. Even more, my cannibalism was developing from a sexuality to a spirituality.When I was in ninth grade, I came out about my cannibalistic interests.it all started when I was on the bus with a seventh grader who I have never met before. She seemed pretty nice and we both like the same books, so I figured we would get along pretty well. Well, as we were talking, our conversation somehow evolved into a role-play. I was fine with that, as I am a creative by nature and I like the idea of role-playing. The problem is, she just kept creating the same scenarios over and over again. It was getting extremely draining trying to play with her every day. Was October 18 when things got weird. Our role-play went from a vanilla seen where cats and dogs were playing around peacefully sto cats raping someone. Yes, it went there. It made me extremely uncomfortable because she was a seventh grader and did not know what she was talking about. She’s always been extremely innocent this just came out of nowhereWas October 18 when things got weird. Our role-play went from a vanilla seen where cats and dogs were playing around peacefully to cats raping someone. Yes, it went there. It made me extremely uncomfortable because she was a seventh grader and did not know what she was talking about. She’s always been extremely innocent, and this just came out of nowhere. I decided that I needed to be moved to a different place on the bus, so Iwent to the school counselor and I explained what was going on. The counselor asked why it was such a big deal she was role-playing cat sex. in hindsight, I should have just said that it would make anyone uncomfortable to role-play sexually with a child, but at the time, I just blurted out that I was a cannibal. I know, bad mood, but I have been building up inside of me for a long time.in hindsight, I should have just said that it would make anyone uncomfortable to role-play sexually with a child, but at the time, I just blurted out that I was a cannibal. I know, bad moov, but It had been building up inside of me for a long time. I had been thinking about cannibalism for the past four years, and I am the kind of person who needs to share everything on my mind. Of course, everyone freaked out. First, they thought I was suicidal. Then, they thought I was going to kill someone. It took years for that to clear up, and it damage my self-esteem for a long time. In my view, I have been vulnerable for the first time and shared something deep within me that i had been scared of being judged about and they completely validated my fears. Looking back on it, I should have definitely explained it better. There is a big difference between saying I’m a cannibal and say I believe in eating dead loved ones after they die in order to honor them and keep them with me. I learned that later.

After coming out, it took a while for my folks to get used to my Endocannibalism, but they did and they’re cool with it now. I have been going through a lot of mental health issues, and I think that it will help me to share my story here. Also, I believe the Endo cannibals like me need more representation and I’m here to do it. If you’re reading this, thank you for reading and enjoy the rest of my blog.After coming out, it took a while for my folks to get used to my Endocannibalism, but they did and they’re cool with it now. I have been going through a lot of mental health issues, and I think that it will help me to share my story here. Also, I believe the Endo cannibals like me need more representation and I’m here to do it. If you’re reading this, thank you for reading and enjoy the rest of my blog.